Pouring my heart out for nothing.
I still can't believe me and Ben have broken up.Things just don't seem real at the moment and i miss him so much.I guess this is the only way i can really get my emotions out,as not many people understand. All they say is you will be ok,or you're better off,but i just can't look at it like that.I love him and i don't want to be better off,because he is the best for me.
I know it seems soppy and people say i have the rest of my life to fall in love because i'm 19,but i fell for him so hard and he was my best friend. I wish i could go back in time and change certain things as i know i could of been a better girlfriend,but i'm trying not to beat my self up about it.But it's so hard. I will always believe we could of worked things out,but in the end he just didn't want a relationship and just wanted space.I guess it's hard to hear right now,and i would do anything to win him back.But that's just not what he wants & i'm not prepared to force anything upon him,as much as i'd like too.
We shared so many amazing moments together and i honestly will remember them forever.I trusted him with my whole life and i can't just forget that.I hope he is ok,and enjoys his time alone,because if he is happy i will be in time.I wish he would see this,but he wont.I wish he understood how much i care and appreciate him,because now i've lost him i just feel like i have nothing to live for no more.He was everything to me.
I've never fallen in love before,so this was my first time.The emotion was so strong and overwhelming and i loved the idea of being there for him whenever he needed me,whether as support or just company.So if you are reading this somehow,i'm sorry if i ever hurt you,it was never intentional.I will never give up on you,i love you too much for that.
Love your best friend & your love,danielle
